new year

Saturday, Jan. 01, 2005 - 3:32 pm

I like to play games.  I like putting people in situations, so that I can observe them while they are oblivious of my watching them.  I am by no means a voyeur; I just like knowing what I'm getting myself into.  The night before New Year's Eve, I played one of these games.  See, I am usually the one to organize, plan, and fund any given night's festivities.  On top of that, I find it necessary to become the center of attention as most of my acquaintances are pretty submissive and dull.  With full knowledge that Shorty was planning an evening of bar hopping in the Coco Walk, I decided I could take a break from my usual role.  Sure enough, she tried to call me after I picked up the mother from the airport.  The mother had already expressed interest in doing something that night, so it all seemed rather convenient.  I was in no mood to come up with plans, and no one else around me takes the initiative.

Off to the Coco Walk we went.  Our group consisted of me, Bubba, and the mother.  Seeing that the mother took an insanely unreasonable amount of time to get ready, we were forced to meet Shorty and her group at the bar.  I was immediately greeted within 2 miles of Coconut Grove by overwhelming traffic, lack of parking, and a bunch of obnoxious drunkards.  I could tell that I was going to have one of those nights.  4 drinks and one shot later, I was starting to get bored.  I had already bought Shorty and her group of friends 2 rounds of drinks; I wasn't in the mood to be the center of attention, and our group was equally lifeless.  Bubba and I decided to check out the scenery as we searched for the nearest pool table.  One game later, I beat the reigning champions on the table; I am still miserable.  Some drunk guy bumps into me and acts like he knows me.  His slurring speech is barely coherent.  "Mah wishhh for evverrryone for this Neeew Year is to get laiiddd.  I rrreallly hope you get shome."  I decide that I want to go home.  Then it started.  I get three text messages from the mother.

"Come back to the table we are at."
"Can you get Shorty and I another bomb?"
"Where are you at?"

I detest my life at this point.  Mario, someone from Shorty's entourage, buys me a huge ass drink.  This was prompted by me talking shit to him earlier about how his girl cannot drink and how no one refuses a drink from me.  I quickly thank him, sip it, and put it down only to have some stupid drunk bitch knock it over.  I am livid.  She apologizes in her drunken manner, almost falling out of her stool.  Bubba laughs.  I lose the next game, and I head back to the table to find that the mother has graciously already taken care of her and other's alcoholic needs.  I take another Jager bomb.  Then another...  Then another...  I casually think to myself, "If I didn't know me, I would love hanging out with me.  I am like a hot slut that spouts alcohol from my breasts.  Anyone can drink freely and fuck me if they wish."  This depresses me.  Some drunk guy sees me buying drinks for our group and decides to befriend me.  My theory is correct.  Here is a stranger, and he likes hanging out with me already.  I whisper to Bubba, "I'm going to fuck this guy's night up."  I casually lean over to Dave, our gracious bartender, requesting a four horsemen.  I give it to the guy who is trying to talk to me, and I say, "Fuck you, Happy New Year."  Stepping away, I sneak glances at him taking half the shot, gagging, and passing it to his friend, who finishes the shot with a similar facial expression.  I laugh.  I decide that I am ready to go home because I do not want to witness the aftermath of my actions.  Before I do, I order more Jager bombs for Bubba, Shorty's boyfriend, and I.  The idiot lush also exclaims that he wants one.  This sets me off.  I am in my full shit talking mood.

"What, your game's so bad you don't have a bitch to buy you drinks, so you have to resort to some drunk guy?"
"What?  I don't understand..."
"You just took a four horsemen, and you couldn't finish it.  Your pussy ass friend had to help you out.  You are not worthy for this shot."
"Awww come on, man.  It's the New Year!"
"And what?  Would you like a blow job with that?  Maybe for your friend too?  Faggot..."

Dave tells me that the shots are on the house.  I think to myself, fine.  If this guy wants to fuck up his night, so be it.  I am angry.  I take the shot, and I head for the door.  I am having a bad night.  The mother, Bubba, and I start to walk towards the car.  Earlier, Bubba had asked me if they had 40s here.  Seeing as Miami and its surrounding areas are a bunch of yuppies, they do not sell 40s except in Overtown, the ghetto.  We stop at the corner store where we are greeted by the local drunks.  The mother starts to talk shit to them, and BUYS them a fucking drink.  She bought THEM a drink.  A complete stranger, with nappy ass braids, who clearly does not need to intake any more liquor because he already smells like hungover ass, gets a fucking drink from her, while I am standing there, angry as hell, ready to go home.  I do not have any words for her after this.

Perhaps she could detect this, because when we got in the car, she excitedly tells me that Shorty left her some blow.  I quickly finish off the sack, and I am in better spirits.  This lasts for 20 minutes.  We are almost back home, and I want to do more blow.  I try to make a few calls; everyone is sleeping.  Finally, I call Shorty.  I arrange a meeting, and I tell her that when we leave, I'll stop by.  As we pass by Denny's, I suddenly come up with some preconceived idea that I am hungry.  The second we get out of the car, I start vomiting.  I calmly walk into the restaurant where I find Bubba placing his order, and I sit down next to the mother.  She and a crackhead are having a delightful conversation as she is scratching off the lottery ticket she bought earlier.  I look over and get a dose of the crackhead's rotting breath, and I leave to vomit again.  I finally decide that it is best I wait in the car.

Bubba and the mother come out of Denny's with food.  The temperament is amusing.  Bubba has his usual straight face on, while the mother is wearing a goofy drunk grin.  I get into the backseat because I want to lay the fuck down.  The mother assures me that she knows where Shorty lives.  She directs Bubba in the wrong fucking direction.  Angry as fuck, I call Shorty to get directions.  I am yelling directions at Bubba at this point to get back to the main highway, and the mother argues with me.  After we get on the right track, I mute myself.  I am in no mood to argue; I have had a miserable night, and I do not want to keep fueling the negativity.  When we arrive, I see the mother disappear with Shorty.  No invitation for me to go in.  I don't care at this point.  I knock on the door, open it, and I see them doing bumps without me.  Thanks a lot guys.  The story doesn't end there, but it's about time this entry did.  Nothing significant happened after that.  Bubba tried to mack on Shorty after we took her boyfriend home.  Shorty came over to my place, but didn't do anything save watch a few movies, and then Bubba took her home.  I was miserable.  I still am.  I admit, this was really not a realization of any sort.  I know that I need a new circle of friends.  I need some positive outlook on things.  But for now, I hate my life.  Happy fucking new year.

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